I’m not going all religious on you… But I am using a familiar story and
sharing its current impact on me.
In the Christian faith many have prayed the mantra over and
over known as “The Lord’s Prayer”. I see
this being similar to a monk who chants sacred words and sounds. Both
containing layers of metaphysical powers many never unlock or fully recognize.
But lately, another Jesus prayer has seemed extremely significant to me, and it’s
one that isn’t mentioned that often unless it is during the time that pays
homage to his death and afterlife.
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
In my Lomi (traditional Hawaiian healing/massage) practice,
part of what I’m discovering is the act of “ho-oponopono” or shortened in my
interpretation “cleaning house”. Not just a physical house, a mental, emotional
and spiritual home(s).
The Parable of a T-Shirt That Says : I <3 Alzheimer’s
Several years ago, my mother and my brother hurt one another
deeply. She thought she was surprising him with a long over-due unannounced
visit and he was busy trying to make a living for his family as a professional
artist. Because of the distraction of my mother’s arrival, he suffered a
monetary loss and reacted with blame and frustration and negative emotions
unleashed upon my highly sensitive mother. Her journey brought her to my house
afterwards where I spent the week hearing her cry, listening to her sorrow and
pain. Later, another incident happened and my brother made the choice to
disconnect from most of us in our immediate dysfunctional family unit. Years of
processing and trying to understand and replaying words and images in my own
head… all taking me on a journey that has ended in Hawaiian house cleaning.
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
I look at us all, in all the situations that have occurred
and I see people who have been reactionary, emotional, self-absorbed, unable to
wear another’s shoes. The list goes on and on.
People unconscious. Going through motions without enlightenment being
their guide. Spewing into the world instead of intentionally moving with love
as the format. Wild animals caught in their own traps, prisoners bound by their
own chains. All of us, including myself.
No words spoken for almost a decade. Mother broken. Son
broken. Sister broken. Brother broken. Family broken. But all developing
strength through the consequences of life playing itself out in one another’s
lives.
And then suddenly an opportunity arises and son meets with
mother again, only now, mother’s brain is being softened and re-shaped by Alzheimer’s. Her daughter miles away was worried
about how things were playing themselves out, how mom was going to react;
whether or not her body and mind could withstand the stress of facing what was
and what had transpired.
“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
Speaking on the telephone with mom afterwards, I found not
only reassurance that everything was good, healed; I also discovered the ability to laugh at the
ugly, to laugh at what once seemed so overwhelming and enormously IMPORTANT.
I asked her if she had a good visit. She replied, “You should see how many apples are in our yard… I know
something happened a long time ago, but I don’t remember what it was. I don’t
remember anything bad anymore, honey. I just live today, kind of moment to
moment. It was like laughing and talking and visiting with new people. YOU
SHOULD SEE ALL THE APPLES IN OUR YARD!!!!!”
The power of forgiveness and the power of forgetfulness.
What really matters in the end?
When we feel “wronged”
by someone, when someone reacts and then we react and then they react and a
cycle becomes a whirlwind becomes a tornado becomes a hurricane – when it
becomes difficult to forgive and let go and move forward – in the end maybe all
that matters is a simple little statement concerning all of us, from both sides
meeting in the center: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Clean your own house first. Forgive yourself first, for
hurtful reactions, for allowing others to destroy your inner peace, for words
said and unsaid, for deeds done to others out of fear, frustration, anger or
hate, for not loving yourself enough, for not KNOWING. Forgive others, even
when you aren’t able to see what they see or feel what they feel. Forgive circumstances,
situations, events, frailties, imperfections. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they
do.” I'm not saying to not have a backbone. I'm also not saying that I think we should allow ourselves to be used or mistreated. I'm thinking we simply need to keep trying our best, in every situation, and maybe more especially during the heated moments.
I really really really want to make mom a t-shirt that says:
“I <3 Alzheimer’s”….
“In the end we're all just chalk lines on the concrete
Drawn only to be washed away
For the time that I've been given
I am what I am.”
“If there was no Tomorrow
If there was just Today
Would you make different choices
Or would you stay the same.”
“I'm begging for forgiveness, everything I've done, If God
is listening, He knows I'm not the only one.”
― quotes from Five Finger Death Punch
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