Find Joy

Several years ago, after struggling most of her life to get there, my mom was healthier than she had ever been, had lost a lot of weight, was married to her best friend, had her dream job and finally had reached a place of life where she had less pain than she had known for years. I remember seeing her during one of her visits to Iowa and feeling so proud of her accomplishments. She was stunning (still is).

Shortly thereafter, she had a stroke. And although it didn’t affect her nearly as badly as it could and should have, it altered her. I’ve been thinking about how it seemed to have robbed her of the state of joy and “perfection” that she had finally reached. I’ve been thinking how life is like that too often for many of us. This roller coaster ride that we have no control over, finding ourselves throwing our hands in the air, screaming as loudly as we can and just flying with our eyes wide open. A lot of times there isn’t anything left to do except to just buckle in and ride the ride.

I’ve admired how, through it all, through the good and through the tough, she has carried one theme within her – to live life joyfully, to find happiness in each and every moment. Even in her tears and the times I’ve heard her cry on the other end of the phone, it always changes to laughter, often times giggling without reservation like a little child.

Some of us spend most of our lives seeking out, searching for relief from pain whether it’s mental, emotional, physical, spiritual; however defined. We get caught up in thinking that life has been unjust. We dwell inside of what doesn’t make sense. We wallow in the shallow. Fall down and focus on the sharp edges, the scar tissue, the HURT. I’ve learned through my mother that if you dive deeper, love harder, risk more, breathe bigger breaths and laugh deeper laughs there is a place you reach when you find the “peak”. A place where peace is truly the kind that passes all understanding and you know that whatever is around life’s bend will somehow manage to take care of you, hold you, guide you, raise you and place you right where you need to be. Even the crummy things, like strokes and broken hands and broken hearts make you better and in a sense make you more capable of being happier and more content with the little things that truly are what make life valuable.

Throw your hands up in the air. Let go. And feel life whirling around you, through you. Find joy.