No Soliciting, No Proselytizing

A couple from a religious organization repeatedly knock at the door.

An elderly woman inside cowers in fear, hiding in her closet; shaking, tears in her eyes and down her cheeks, wishing they would just go away.

I can’t get this real life scenario out of my head. Nor can I ignore the lessons glaring at me because of it:

#1. Learn how to have a backbone and say “no” when it’s in your best interest.

#2. Stop trying to people please. There’s a difference between being kind, being kind to oneself and being kind to others. Be kind, but don’t sacrifice YOUr integrity, finances, body, heart or anything else that takes away from your own spirit, or depletes at your own expense or makes you fall behind to lift another.

#3. You don’t have to do anything that doesn’t fill you with joy and happiness. Walk away. Or go to the closet and stay until it’s safe to come out.

#4. People often try forcing their views and "good" intentions upon others. Don’t be like them.

#5. Only really open your door if you want to open your door to the outside world. And be cautious about who you let in.

#6. Listen to your inner voice. And don’t just listen… Follow.

#7. Too many times there is simply nothing that can be done. People you love are sometimes too far away to reach, whether physically or emotionally. Send love. It might not be felt or received, but it creates a bridge that keeps a connect when things out of our control cause a sense of loss or grief or disappointment. No matter what, love.

#8. Feel sorry for others, hurt for others, but it isn’t your job to fix them or to try to change their minds or bend their wills to match your own.

#9. Stand firm in who you are. Don’t be afraid to know who YOU are, to represent who you are every single day. Peer pressure is for cowards (both sides), unafraid to think for themselves and too afraid to venture out into unknown places or open their minds to explore the limitless “what if’s”.

#10. Free your mind from attachments to fear. The worst that could ever happen? In any scenario, the worst has happened somewhere, to someone and they’ve either survived or not. Chains are usually invisible. Everything usually is all right in the end. Breathe.

My mom trained me, along with other people and other organizations that it’s the “right” thing to give and give and give. I’m arguing today, that while it’s noble, it can also be so damaging. It’s not “right” to deplete yourself beyond the breaking point, past the point of “empty”. Too hard to repair damage done. I usually preach about having an open heart, being a good person. But today? I’m thinking in order to be the best at anything we choose to be, it’s vital to protect and take care of the most valuable gift given:  You. Care for your temple – your body, your mind, your heart, your soul.