The older I get the more I believe in the concept of being responsible for what you send out into the world. “What goes around, comes around.” My mom is one of those types of individuals that doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. It’s always been beyond her to ever think the worst of people, to ever intentionally wrong someone or belittle or hurl a heap of her own hurt towards someone else. Qualities I hope I’ve inherited because in my eyes, that makes her one of the most amazingly beautiful women I know.
The older I get the more I realize that whatever I project outward or carelessly blurt without having loving intentions DOES and WILL come back to me. Or perhaps, I plant a seed that continues to grow and gain momentum. Insecurity creeps in, insecurity spews out, but doesn’t just dissolve into thin air. It intensifies, feeds on itself, grows and becomes bigger than ever. Self doubt builds inside and spills over and instead of a small bump in the road becomes my personal mountain to climb. And in the process of sending the negatives out, I end up hurting others. And the ripple effect has been unleashed.
The older I get the more I realize there’s this fine line of speaking your voice, releasing your feelings so another knows what you’re going through and holding your tongue until you’ve surrounded those feelings with enough love that the words you share aren’t reflecting your own bitterness, your own hurt, your own sorrow, pain or confusion. This is a process I haven’t yet mastered but one I’m examining right now. I wish I could more easily be just like my mom, because through her I’ve never known any other thing but being blanketed by love that makes everything easier to handle.
The older I get the more I realize how much we affect one another. Quietly sometimes. Uproariously other times. I see our impact, over and over. It’s amazing to me to think that we have this enormous power over one another, power to lift or power to smash apart, power to uphold or power to weaken, power to honor or power to disgrace, power to add grace or power to deplete. The older I get the more I try to rise above it all, but I fail miserably at that, too.
The older I get the more I simply see that truly there is some sort of karmic value to the energy we choose or choose not to expend and project from our deepest DNA, from our souls and hearts. It makes sense more and more that we need to tend to our own bodies, heal our own inner workings, mend our own hearts so that we are better equipped to make this world better by us being here. Projecting good karma from a cellular level opens up empty spaces and places that pull the same kind of good karma in, always filling, always nourishing. Today I am choosing to focus on the energy I’m holding for myself, for others. Am I adding to or taking away? Building or destroying? Loving or hating? What am I sending out, what keeps coming back in?
The older I get, the more I see it in action, the more I feel it moving through me and the more aware I am when I’m doing it all wrong; “what goes around, comes around, what comes around, goes around……”
